This year the fourth annual Council of Literary Magazines and Presses (CLMP) Spelling Bee kicked off to an earlier start, further downtown and in a more corporate locale (the Riverhouse Sales & Discovery center – purveyor of eco condos – rather than Exit Art – purveyor of contemporary art), but the beloved hosts, remained the same: Bob Morris, of the NYT Style Section emceed, Jesse Sheidlower, US Ed. Dir. of the OED presided as judge, and Ira Silverberg, Roving Agent, hawked a Kate Spade python purse.
Round One: Favored newcomer Michael Cunningham (introduced as the “tallest most beautiful man here”) falls to the floor in despair when he misses his first word “millennium” (he forgets to double the doubles). Page Six Editor Paula Froelich bumbles the same word (two L’s one N) after confirming that her paper of note only accepts gossip tips that are spelled correctly. Alex Kuczynski neglects a “c” in “cappuccino,” and blames her error on the fact that she doesn’t drink coffee. PW’s Sara Nelson nails “pachyderm.”
Round Two: Jonathan Burnham opens with a fierce correct spelling of “glockenspiel.” Thisbe Nissen is thwarted by “ecstasy;” Abigail Pogrebin is unseated by “privilege.”
Round Three: GalleyCat’s Ron Hogan continues to blaze through with his correct spelling of “halcyon.” Emily Nussbaum gets trumped by “conscientious” (“the Culture Editor of New York Magazine!”). Last year’s champ Robert Sistema remembers the “h” in “dinghy.”
Round Three: In an upset, Sistema, Tad Smith, Lynne Tillman, Meg Wolitzer, Burnham, & Hogan are all stymied by “lignin.” Gretchen Rubin gives it a shot. She fails! All wronged by lignin return.
Round Four: Wolitzer starts off strong with “colonelcy.” Burnham nails “triptych.” Hogan, Rubin, Sistema, and Smith all butcher “florilegium.” Florilegium is looking like the new lignin. Tillman is up. She spells it right! Michael Cunningham kisses her. Ira Silverberg asks for more donations.
Round Five: Burnham, Tillman, and Wolitzer all kill the word “tar” (the long-necked ute from central Asia, natch) by adding extra h’s, and r’s in varying order. All step back up. Burnham gets “klaxon.” Tillman fumbles on “cachesexe.” Wolitzer delivers.
Final Round: Burnham and Wolitzer volley – “gleet,” “dudgeon,” “fustigate.” Burnham is thrown “chukker.” He confuses polo with ankle boots and drops the “er” for an “a.” Wolitzer attempts….and wins! Everyone drinks Pravda vodka. End.
